Question ID: 29861
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Asalaamu Alaikum.
I am a divorced female. My ex husband currently has an interim court order stating that one of three 2 hour visits take place at his house. He intended removing our 16 month old daughter from her primary residence,despite having absolutely no relationship with her as he left prior to her birth and ignoring the fact that she is currently breastfed. Due to the intensity of the problems prior to and after her birth, our daughter now suffers from separation anxiety and cannot stay away from me even for the shortest of periods. He brought in a social worker, who after observing how our daughter acts when she is separated from me, opposed her initial suggestions which were based on what my ex had told her. She now insists that I be present during the visits after she witnessed my ex allowing our child to cry for 45 minutes, without feeling any compassion and refusing me to comfort her. As a result of the visits, our daughter develops a fever and diarrhoea after every visit. She also cries throughout the night.My ex husband also insists that I pay half towards our daughter’s expenses, even though I am a stay home mum. Therefore they force this responsibility onto my father who contributes more than double than what he pays. He also did not maintain me during iddat nor marriage.He was also abusive.
I would like advise on the following:a) Our daughter’s rights as a child in Islam; what can be done to ensure that she is not tormented emotionally as this is obviously going to impact gravely on her psychological health and well-being as she grows up b)Is it acceptable to be forced to go to my ex’s residence?He has uttered all 3 talaaqs Even though his father is a mahram to me, he looked at me in a totally unislamic manner while I was married and passed a sexual remark. My ex does not keep a fair distance away from me. Our daughter refuses to enter their residence and if forced to, cries till I step out with her resulting in visitation taking place on their doorstep.Your advise would be appreciated.
Jazakallah

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Asked on November 26, 2013 8:44 pm
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Private answer

1) Since this is court order on visitation Rights you should educate your daughter on how to react.
2) You are not to have any contact with your ex-husband. Go to the local Ulema body to make a Islaamic solution. You are liable to pay 1/2 for your daughters expenses.
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Answered on November 26, 2013 8:44 pm