Question ID: 33247
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Assalam alaikum,
I would appreciate it if you could help me by answering my question before Ramadhan as I really need help.
My daughter has accused her step father of trying to rape her by removing her trousers with force, nothing else was removed and nothing happened as she told him no. She is aged 17. She did not tell me at the time I came back to a broken TV and they both said they had a fight. This happens sometimes when he tries to discipline her. I thought nothing of it. Then 6 months later my son was playing on her phone and pressed on a recording where I heard my husband telling her he loved her and something about a day when something happened. It was unclear, When he heard the recording he snatched the phone and would not give it back until he had deleted it. Then after a day he told me he meant he loved her as a daughter. When I questioned her she told me: you would not believe me, I said I would and she told me what had happened as detailed above. I asked her to say Wallah it was true as I thought she may want us to split up as he is not her real dad but she said even if she wished I would get back with her real dad it would never happen. Sometimes people can lie when saying Wallah, and even my husband said Wallah it never happened. I do not know who to trust. She said she wants to leave home now and not live near him. She said she wanted me to get divorced then changed her mind when my son got upset as he is close to his step father. She said ok stay together for her brothers sake. My son aged 14 said Allah is forgiving and that we should forgive him even if it was true. My daughter said no she will never forgive. I have no proof either way. Also we told my husbands’s family family what happened he denied it, however his sisters said give him 1 more chance. I am not sure what to do islamically. I feel bad to get divorced for my son’s sake as his step father is all he has. He brought him up since very small. However if true how could I stay with him as it is a grave sin. Pease tell me if we feel he regrets it should we forgive him? Or not. Should my daughter continue living with us if I never leave them alone together? Or should I find a place for my daughter to live and live with her and leave my son with his step dad? I suggested this idea but my husband seemed to think it was better to divorce if I move out. Or I could spend half week with each. Or she could go to university student accommodation, but I feel it is wrong to tell her to live alone. I also suggested that I move with my daughter back too his home country close to his family as my daughter is close to his sisters, he did not like the idea, but it may be besto to make hijrah and see him only on occasion and remain married? However my son said he wants to come too but my husband said he will not leave the west. So if my son comes he would end up losing his step dad. I worry if I get divorced will he still want my son to live with him? As he may remarry. My son loves him so much. I do not want to disturb his mind anymore than necessary however I do not wish to sin if it is wrong to stay with him. Jazakhallkhair

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Asked on April 25, 2017 3:42 pm
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Private answer

Separate immediately your daughter from her step father.
Do not get divorced. Be watchful over ‘step father’.

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Answered on May 16, 2017 1:00 pm