Question ID: 31278
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I recently married a learned sheikh who spent a lot of time studying, stands as an imam in his local masjed, and holds position as principal at two separate Sunday schools. I was so honored and excited to marry such a man, but soon after we married, I discovered a dark secret about him. On our marriage night, my husband committed sodomy against my will. I asked him to stop because its haram, but he did not stop; he continued anyway, stating that it is not haram and that he could have his wife any way he pleases as long as it is not during menstruation. astagfirallah. After this experience, I returned to my home and asked him to release me from the marriage. He agreed, stating Even though it is not haram, I will not do it if it displeases you, but as you wish, I release you from this marriage; I divorce you.He only said it this one time. After two weeks passed, he called me again and told me that he refuses to divorce me and that I am to return to him now and he is saying that I am still his wife because the iddah did not finish and i’m obligated to come to him. He has additionally said that a woman that asks divorce (except when her husband refuses her sex or refuses to provide for her when he is financially able) will not enter paradise. Even after I returned home he continued to tell me that it was not haram and said that he was insulted that I would accuse him of doing haram. I provided him with this:now, reference Surah Al Baqara 2:223
the sahih international translation says:Your wives are a place of sowing of seed for you, so come to your place of cultivation however you wish and put forth [righteousness] for yourselves. And fear Allah and know that you will meet Him. And give good tidings to the believers.
From the word harth (tilth) we understand that what is permissible is only in the vagina (the front passage), especially because this is what will produce childrenIt was reported from Khuzaymah ibn Thaabit (may Allaah be pleased with him) that the Messenger of Allaah (pbuh) said: Allaah is not too shy to tell you the truth: do not have intercourse with your wives in the anus. (Narrated by Imaam Ahmad, 5/213; a hasan hadeeth)
Ibn Abbaas said: The Messenger of Allaah (pbuh) said: ��Allaah will not look at a man who has intercourse with his wife in her anus. (Narrated by Ibn Abi Shaybah, 3/529; narrated and classed as saheeh by al-Tirmidhi, 1165).
You commit Al-Fahishah (sodomy-the worst sin) which none has preceded you in(committing) it in the Alamin ( mankind and jinn) Al-Ankabut 28.
He is saying that if I ask for khula, I must pay him to get out of the marriage. According to Quran and Sunnah, what recourse do I have?
He still claims that he did not commit sodomy because we are married and he said that this is only sinful when a man is having sex with a woman who is not his wife. Please, can you help me? Can you please tell me what recourse I have? Must I return to this man, or is there something else I can do?

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Asked on November 16, 2012 12:02 pm
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See lecture below.
http://www.alislam.co.za/cms/archives/audios/lecture-deen-various-phases-14-may-00
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Answered on November 16, 2012 12:02 pm